


Three Idiots, One Mansion

by KingOfWritersBlock



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Multi, My First Fanfic, What can only be described as "Prostitute AU", possible description of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:08:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingOfWritersBlock/pseuds/KingOfWritersBlock
Summary: Black Hat decides he deserves some me time. If he knew that meant encountering two of the most annoying, crazy people he had ever met, well, he would have never left the mansion. Or so he tells himself.





	1. Meeting on the Back Streets

Black Hat leaned back in his chair and sighed. The morons he called his customers were constantly a pain in the ass when it came to filing paperwork correctly, which they don’t since they are all villains. He ran his hands roughly down his face. Needless to say, he was not having their antics today. He glanced over at the old clock on the wall, the time being 3:33 in the morning. He sighed again, and tapped his finger against his desk. _"It wouldn’t hurt to treat myself today. I’ve worked hard enough as it is"_. With a plan in mind he stretched his arms above his head, before standing up and walking out of his office. 

As he walked down the dark and cobweb filled hallways, the shadows seemed to leap out of the way of his own. With each step he took, his appearance changed. His grey skin lightened to more of a sickly pale, his sharp teeth became white and dull, and the part he disliked most, his hat transformed into a mop of messy black hair. _“My hat is one of my best features, and I have to hide it when I want to go out in this wretched form. This world is unfair”_ , He thought, still sporting his signature scowl on his face. He flung open the doors to his manor and strode out in the dead of night, arms folded behind his back.

It was a few minutes before he marched up to the street he was looking for. The road sign had long been broken, and no one seemed eager to fix it. Already he could smell the scum that lived here, whores and their pimps, dealers of any drug you could think of, and just wretched human beings, guilty of all types of crimes. His scowl slowly turned into a chilling smile. “I’m home” he muttered, walking forward, the light reflecting off of his monocle like something out of a cartoon.

Black Hat meandered down streets, kicking drunkards and the occasional corpse. Only two people tried to jump him, but their intentions were quickly shut down with a swift snap of their necks. While he was busy cackling at some poor sap who needed his fix, he made a left turn instead of a right, and his good mood was quickly dampened. He had begun walking down that street, and it seemed like he was swarmed with ladies of the night. His usually nasty scowl was now worse, and it sent most of them crawling back to whatever person they worked for. _“They’re like damned flies, always buzzing around, attracted to shit, and everywhere. At least they’re also easy to squash.”_ He grinned to himself, finding the comparison funny, when something caught his eye. Most of the people on this street were coated in makeup and flaunting huge breasts and buttocks, calling from every corner, but that’s not what distracted Black Hat. Near the end of the street was a woman leaned against a lamp post, staring at him. Well, he assumed she was staring at him, since she wore a mask like the kind that represent the theater. Her chest was relatively flat, and practically no ass that Black Hat could distinguish. She dressed similarly to the other women, exposing lots of skin, and wearing ridiculous heels. The woman lifted a finger, and beckoned him over. Black Hat took a glance around. A strange feeling enveloped him, and he began making his way over. _“You blithering idiot, what are you doing,”_ he thought to himself. _“Curiosity killed the cat…”_ He slowed down a bit in his trek over to the woman. _"But satisfaction brought it back."_ He got a malicious look on his face as he picked up his pace.

Once he was within a few feet of the woman he stopped and crossed his arms in front of him. “You have my attention. For now.” He growled out. She was wearing a pink and black checkered sleeveless crop top, and matching mini skirt. The fishnet stockings were tacky, and her earrings were jangling as her head shifted. The woman stood up straight and slowly walked over to him, and put a gentle, pink gloved hand to his chest. “Want me to make your night?” She asked in an annoyingly high voice. Black Hat scoffed. “I highly doubt you could do that. I’m a hard man to please.” She began to run her hand down his chest, and rested it at his hip. “Oh, come now. I can assure you that I can be whatever it is you want. Just tell me what it is.” The masked face tilted slightly to the side, and she took a step closer, their bodies almost touching. “Whatever I want,” Black Hat grinned. He leaned close to her ear and rasped, “I want you to be a **man**.” He leaned back, and waited for some sort of response, shit eating grin plastered on his face. After a moment of silence, she replied. “Well, I am, if that satisfies you.” Her voice had become a bit deeper, though still squeaky, and Black Hat’s grin became a confused frown. “What, first time you’ve seen a guy dressed like a woman?” He took his hand off of Black Hat’s hip, and put it on his own. “Come on, tough guy, if this is all it will take to please you, I’m cheap for my quality, come along.” The man linked arms with Black Hat, and began dragging him to a nearby building. Black Hat shook his head, still reeling from that whiplash the guy just gave him. He began grumbling to himself, loud enough for the man to hear, but either he couldn’t hear that well or he was ignoring him because he didn’t say anything. Black Hat decided to just go with it, perhaps this would be amusing, and if not, well, he already killed two other people today.

They eventually ended up at an abandoned apartment complex. “Hope you don’t mind stairs, hun. Elevator’s been broken for years now.” “ **Don’t**. Call me ‘hun’.” Black Hat growled in response. The man just shrugged, “I’ll call you whatever you want me to, pumpkin.” Black Hat nearly throttled the man then and there, but he really wanted to see where this would go, though he had a good idea. They climbed to the third floor, and the man took a key out from his shirt, and unlocked room 325. Inside the room, it looked well kept. The bed was neat, there were no cobwebs, and very few stains on the rug. “I have to say,” Black Hat muttered, “I’m impressed with the cleanliness of this particular room.” “Like I said,” The man replied, “I’m cheap for my quality.” He then lead Black Hat to the bed, and gently pushed him to sit on it. “Now how do you want to do this, clothes on or off? I’ve had some interesting requests in the past, and figured I should ask.” Black Hat laid down, and put his hands behind his head. “On, and if you get anything on my suit, I’ll kill you.” The man got on the bed and straddled Black Hat’s waist. “Oh, I don’t doubt that for a minute.” He said, in an almost mocking tone. Black Hat scowled again. “I don’t plan on doing anything, this is all on you. **Don’t disappoint me**.” A faint shiver ran through the man. “I won’t disappoint.” He replied. “Now let’s get started.”


	2. You have to pay for what you order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll make this quick, first time writing this kind of thing and letting others read it. Enjoy

Flug looked down at the man beneath him. While he often got threats of death, none were delivered with such certainty as what this man said. It was kinda nice, feeling like there was a threat for once. Nonetheless, the night would end the same as any other for Flug. He grinned underneath his mask. At least he could get some personal pleasure for once.

Running his hands up the man’s sides over his shirt, he muttered in his ear. “Any kinks you never get to experience, baby?” The man beneath him made a noise similar to a growl. “No, you insufferable twig, and stop with the pet names or I will end your pathetic existence before you can open your mouth again.” Flug sat up, seeing an unamused look staring back at him. “Are you sure, Daddy?” The sudden sting on Flugs cheek was the only indication that he’d been slapped. He hadn’t even see the man move, the only difference was the man now sported a scowl that Flug hoped he would ever have to witness again. “ **I told you to stop, you insect** ”. Flug rubbed his cheek to help ease the pain. “ _Another threat? And a fucking slap? What is up with him, is he on some sort of power tri…_ ” Flug got an idea in the middle of the thought, and hopefully it wasn’t his last of either. He began unbuttoning the man’s dress shirt. After exposing his, rather frail looking chest, he lifted his mask slightly to kiss it gently and whispered, “Sorry for upsetting you _Sir_.” 

Flug grinned to himself, ignoring the barrage of insults being thrown at him, and dodging another slap this time. Since he was practically against the mans chest, he could feel the slight hitch of breath at the word sir before he started going off. Continuing to ignore the, rather graphic descriptions of his “imminent evisceration” as he so eloquently put it, Flug began to kiss and suck on the man’s prominent collarbone. The angry threats slowly became low grumblings, which turned into an annoyed huff before he fell silent. Progress. Soon the only sound in the small room were the noises coming from Flug as he left discolored marks on the man’s skin. Flug slowly trailed his hand down, until it found the zipper of the man's pants, and with a swift movement, he unzipped them and slipped his hand in. Flug frowned slightly into the kiss on the man’s neck, as he pulled out the man’s still soft cock.

“ _I shouldn’t have to work this hard for a little personal pleasure_ ”. Flug groaned mentally. “ _Why couldn’t someone else have come along, someone who was actually excited for a quick fuck_ ”, Flug thought to himself. He stroked the dick absentmindedly, before pulling his mask down again and looking up. “Is something the matter, sir?” The man feigned an insulted look. “What are you implying? Nothing is the matter. With me.” The mischievous grin indicated to Flug that this was supposed to be an insult at him, but once again, he could sense that slight hitch in breath at the word sir, and there was a faint twitch from the cock in his hand. Looks like he had to up the performance, critiques be damned. “O-oh, Sir, that’s n-not what I meant. In… In fact, you’re perhaps, the-the best I’ve ever met!” There was a dark glint in the man’s eye. “The best? Surely you’re only trying to _stroke_ my ego. Pun intended.” Flug almost rolled his eyes at the grin the man was giving him. “W-well, it seems your inte-intellect is much-ch higher than mine, if you can see what I-I was doing.” Flug almost gagged at the implication that someone was smarter than him, but the feeling of the cock getting stiffer in his hand made it worth it to utter the absolute lie. 

The man was still looking at him with an amused grin, before chuckling a bit. “How long have you been practicing the fiddle, because it seems you’ve played me like one.” He cackled at his own statement before grabbing Flugs neck, pulling him close to his face. “Hurry up already, I’ll only be amused for so long.” Flug began taking off his fishnet stockings, and hurriedly said “A-Anything for y-you Boss.” Tossing the clothing to the side, he stroked the man’s shaft, and leaned over to open a drawer by the bedside. He quickly grabbed a bottle of lube, uncapped it, and applied some to the mostly hard dick in his hand. Once he deemed he put enough on, he lined himself up, and slowly settled down over the tip. 

“Wow, no preparation. Were you whoring yourself out before I got here? You couldn’t wait for the main course, so you got yourself a couple appetizers.” He raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “W-well you’re the main c-course for a reason, Sir.” Flug actually rolled his eyes this time, thankful of his mask. _This_ man was far from a main course, he had seen better looking bodies on corpses, and he’d seen plenty of those. He shuddered inwardly, and his stomach churned at the memories, but he ignored them and focused back on the task at hand. At this point Flug began wondering if the pleasure was actually worth it at the moment, or if he should just continue with his original plan for the night. This man was grating on his nerves, but it had been a long while since Flug had gotten to enjoy himself like this. With an inward sigh, he lowered himself down, sighing out loud this time as he felt himself being stretched. He eventually settled down all the way, and after a moment of getting used to the feeling, he began moving up and down. 

The man underneath him had his eyes closed, and the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “You know, I haven’t even asked your name. If we’re going to be this intimate, I might as well have your name so I can insult you properly.” The man beneath him seemed like he was barely affected by Flug on top of him, and was still resting with his hands behind his head. After sliding down a bit harder than earlier, Flug stopped for a second to respond. “J-just call me Slys, Sir.” There was a pause in conversation as the man processed this information. “Slyssss.” The man said, dragging out the last letter, sounding like air escaping a tire. Flug started moving again, quicker and harder than before, now focused solely on hitting that one spot in him. After some maneuvering he found it, and let out a soft moan. He didn’t pay mind to his own hard dick, choosing instead to run his hands over the man’s bare chest. He would deal with his own arousal later, at his own leisure. 

Only a few minutes passed before the man underneath Flug spoke again. “Well, I probably won’t ever need your services again after this is over, Slys, which will be soon. Hate to say it, but I’m about done. That’s what years of abstinence will do to you.” The man chuckled, sounding a bit more out of breath at this point. Keeping up his pace, Flug leaned down, lifting up his mask slightly to kiss the man’s neck again. The man made a noise which was probably a stifled moan. Flug felt the tensing of muscles underneath him, and the man taking deeper, quicker breaths. Flug gave one last kiss to the man’s jawline, before clamping his jaws around the man’s neck, hearing vertebrae crunch, and feeling the man hit his climax inside Flug’s ass. 

All was quiet for about two seconds, which was just enough time for Flug to realize the usual tangy/sweet taste of blood was not there. The taste that invaded his mouth was like death and decay, a taste he was too familiar with. Before Flug could do anything, a gurgling voice spoke up. “And what do you think you’re **doing!** ” Flug didn’t have time to react before he was thrown against the wall on the opposite side of the room. A little dazed, it took Flug a moment to realize that a large chunk of the man’s neck was still wedged in his mouth. Debating on whether to snack or spit it out, Flug watched in horror as the man sat up straight, and moments later his head snapped up with a crack. He casually swung his legs over the edge of the bed, re-buttoned his shirt, and stood. His smile was strained as he stared at Flug, his teeth suddenly pointed, and a string of saliva dripping out of the corner of his mouth. A redish-black ooze dripped onto his suit from the gaping hole in his neck, and Flug began shaking in genuine fear. “ _Perhaps his threats were less the ramblings of a crazy man, and more like a promise_ ” Flug thought to himself. He tried to swallow nervously around the chunk of meat in his mouth. This isn’t how he wanted to go. He had always hoped it would be in a glorious plane crash, or at the hands of the most evil being in the world, not horny with a chunk of his killers neck in his mouth.

He watched as the man looked down at his clothing, then looked back at Flug, his eye twitching in annoyance. With bubbles forming in the remains of his throat, he spoke. “ **I told you not to get anything on my suit** ”. 


	3. I Refuse to Pay

Black Hat stared down at the _**inferior wretched being that dare call itself living**_ , with a smile similar to a shark’s. 

All teeth, and ready to bite.

He took a slow, menacing step forward, and watched as the man backed into the dresser with a thud in a futile attempt to get away. Black Hat took another step, and another, slowly reverting back to his regular appearance every step of the way. He could smell the man’s fear turn to shock, and back to fear ten-fold. Oh he would enjoy the memory of that scent for weeks to come. 

He stopped barely a foot from the other man, watching as he trembled like a newborn puppy far from its mother’s warmth. He leered down at this pathetic being, signature scowl plastered across his face. There was a deafening silence in the room, and Black Hat noticed the other’s mask was lifted up just enough to reveal a mouth filled with sharp, cat like teeth. Wedged in between them sat a piece of bloody grey meat, and he was biting down like his life depended on it. Little drops of black fell from this ill gotten prize, and onto the masked man’s chest, which shuddered with each breath. 

“Well well well, Slys.” Black Hat gurgled out, not bothering to fix the hole in his neck quite yet. He licked his lips when his victim’s trembling increased, and if Black Hat didn’t already have other plans in mind, he could almost go for round two. 

He leaned in closer to the shaking being in front of him and put his hand on the wall next to his head. The blood from his neck dripped down to splatter on the stomach of a terrified Slys. “What to do with you.” Black hat took a clawed finger and traced it down the mask Slys was wearing, and onto his neck, gliding over the veins there. “You’ve created quite a mess now, haven’t you? Do you realize how much of a pain it is to get _my_ blood out of these suits? It’s almost as hard to remove as the blood from **low life, degrading whores, who have _the audacity to tear out the neck of the infamous Black Hat!_** ” he ended with a shout. The man flinched back, moving away from the clawed hand, but bumping into the arms next to his head, effectively trapped. Then Slys did something strange. He hissed at Black Hat.

Black Hat laughed at the noise. “Are you trying to scare me?,'' he said. “HA! I’ve torn apart monsters twice your size, with larger teeth than those toothpicks!” Black Hat’s demenor suddenly became very dark again, the humor gone just as quick as it came. “

“But they weren’t nearly dull enough to **attack me like the inbred heathen you are! You son of a no good, two timing, worthless…** ” Black Hat inhaled deeply through his almost non existent nose. Well, more like tried to inhale through his nose, since air just entered through his exposed trachea. He straightened his back as he tried to reign in his thoughts, and calm himself down a little. As he straightened out his tie, he watched as the man on the floor took this moment to scramble to the other side of the dresser, cowering so Black Hat could only see his back. Black Hat cracked his neck to the side with a sickening snap, and like a cat stalking a mouse, moved slowly but stealthily towards his next victim of the night. 

“Now now, don’t go hiding from me. It’s quite useless honestly.” Black Hat said through a strained smile. He could see Slys tense up, and could practically hear his heart thumping in his chest. Now, Black Hat was usually a fan of getting things over with quickly, no monologing or overly dramatic stalking. But it was his day out, and he had to admit, the last time someone besides this sad excuse for a masked imbecile managed to get him to orgasm was… God how long has it been? The man deserved a few more minutes of life, no matter how terrifying they were. He could indulge in some hypocritical urges and mess with the trembling dumbass. 

He began to shift, shadows spreading around the cornered creature, and he stretched his from to be larger, more intimidating than it already was. With his claws piercing through his gloves, he ran them along the top of the dresser, causing the creak of splintering wood to fill the otherwise quiet room. Black Hat stood directly behind the cowering sack of meat, waiting to be rip it open and spill its contents. He leaned down close to his victims ear, and uttered “Time to make good on my thre-” Black Hat was cut short when a flash of light blinded him and a searing pain ripped through his right shoulder. He reeled back with an inhuman screech, mostly of surprise, slightly of pain. Then the realization hit him.

“ _Pain?_ ” He thought. “ _I shouldn’t be capable of this kind of pain, hell, pain at all! What did this insignificant burden just do?_ ” His shadows retreated back to himself, and he blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision. He could hear Slys rustling around, but his vision was still a mess of lights and black spots. With a snarl, he blindly swiped in the direction of the noise, and felt his claws connect with something. The quick shriek of pain that filled Black Hat’s ears told him he hit his target. He shook his head, and blinked more, able to see the room better, even if it was a little fuzzy. He managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of that pink and black checkered skirt disappear out of the door.

“ _I’m a damned idiot, giving in to the most basic rookie mistakes for shits and giggles! What the hell did he do to me?_ ” Black hat thought, slapping his left palm to his forehead in frustration. With a deep breath he took his hand and placed it gently on his shoulder and hissed when he touched the wound. Black hat didn’t bother chasing after the assaulter, no matter how much the thought of him escaping made his blood boil. No, instead he chose to find him later and give him a proper death. Steering away from the mistakes of a beginner, he knew he needed to recuperate, then track him down. 

However, since he was here, he decided to look around the room. It had become a mess in the short time he had been blinded, belongings strewn everywhere. “Probably all that rustling I heard.” He muttered to no one in particular. He glanced down at the ground and grinned, turning his attention to a new addition to the carpets color. “Nice to see he still bleeds like the rest of us.” He said, squatting down to get a closer look at the splatter of blood on the floor, and the drips leading to the door. He touched the small puddle, the red liquid sticking to his glove. He brought it close to his face, and flicked his tongue out, tasting the coppery substance. He sighed, it tasted like a regular humans blood. He didn’t know what had just attacked him, it seemed human, but held a terrifying amount of power Black Hat rarely ever saw. 

He stood again, wiping his hand on his pant leg, and decided to look around the room more. He walked over to the dresser, which now had the drawers cracked open. Within, Black Hat could see papers and something metal. Curious, Black Hat tried to reach for the handles to open it, but inhaled sharply as the wound on his shoulder flared up in pain. He let out an annoyed huff. His arm hurt too much to move, he was quite tired after his little session, and he was altogether annoyed at the world more than usual. So much for a fun night out. He would have to return and investigate more, but for now, he needed a glass of cyanide and comfier clothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the mansion, Black Hat let out a distressed ‘Gah’. He stood in front of his mirror, shirtless. He glared at the wounds on his body, because something was wrong. Very wrong. He had been home for an hour, but his right shoulder was still a mess of meat and bone (though the pain was gone), and the chunk missing from his neck was only partially healed. Both should have been fixed the minute he got home, but there was something that… that… thing did to him. He scowled at himself. He was in no way afraid, more so annoyed and angered that something on the damned planet was able to harm him like this. Something that was still out there.

With what was perhaps his millionth shout in the past four hours, Black Hat punched the mirror, the glass shattering, then reforming before it had a chance to hit the ground. The cuts on his hand healed over immediately, proving that it wasn’t a lack of effort on his part to fix his wounds. Black Hat exhaled heavily through his nose, before trudging off to his wardrobe to put on night clothes. While he usually doesn’t sleep, he figured this may be the best way to handle two situations. The first, his injuries. The second, he should hopefully wake with a clear head and a plan to find that damned whore and what to do with him. While killing him seems so fun, Black Hat needed to know what that man did to his shoulder, and exactly what he was. 

Black Hat laughed to himself, as he thought for a split second if he was some sort of eldritch monstrosity like him, but no. His blood was as red as a human’s and tasted just as pathetic. Black Hat couldn’t feel any magic coming off of him either, which would have been a dead giveaway. “ _Unless he managed to hide his magic_ ”. Black Hat thought, mouth turning down into a confused frown. He scratched his chin, not knowing exactly what this creature was capable of. But no matter, the puzzle of what to do was for future Black Hat, and present Black Hat had some pajamas to put on. He changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, with some difficulty, and rather ungracefully, he flopped down onto his mattress, not even bothering with the sheets as he closed his eye. As he drifted off into the inky blackness that was sleep, he began dreaming of murder and revenge, bringing a faint smile to his lips.


End file.
